Silence softens the dictator's heart
I look around me now, at more than 100 empty computer stations in a lab that has for the past three months been filled at every moment with what seemed to be twice that many people. It's quiet, and strangely so. By this time every Tuesday I'd normally be hours deep into 20 one-on-one conversations, or perhaps a one-on-20 or five one-on-fours. Mine and three open classrooms around me all competing for the airspace of a 40 x 70 foot room makes for an interesting scene. Tonight, though, there's an odd silence of just 15 or so adjuncts and other part time staff clicking away on their keyboards; conversations are hushed.
At times throughout the semester I felt like a fascist dictator, raising my voice to be heard saying "English only!" It was for their own good, I'd convince myself, remembering how when I visited Mexico to study Spanish I'd laugh at the monitors who'd move through the crowds, even at recess, to remind us it was a Spanish-only campus. But now as a teacher I feel responsible for their learning. As a student I only felt I was responsible for what I learned. I never stopped to think how my teachers might have felt in some misguided way responsible for me. I'm the misguided one now, I suppose. Enforcing an English-only policy in a lab might be a good thing, especially since this is the ONLY place many of our students get a chance to practice, but beyond a gentle reminder it's really a futile effort. Those who want to learn will, because they will practice at every opportunity. Those who laugh, like I did, may learn too, but only if they have inner will to do it on their own terms.
I see now, as I occupy the other side of the desk, how the bold ones, those who scoff educational authority knowing they'll get things by themselves, really do a disservice to the community nature of classroom learning. It hurts those not outgoing enough to get the education they need on their own. Sure, it's not their fault since it's not their responsibility, but they could, by sharing their superior skills and confidence, be a great benefit to others in the class who are timid or even fearful of speaking this foreign tongue. And a teacher could really benefit by their greater participation, for sure. But when it comes down to it, this kind of enlightenment is often missed in the selfish stages of youth.
These desks will fill again in a month or so, at the end of August, when vacations are through. I'm looking forward to the new term, and have learned enough over this summer mini session to do an even better job with my new students. But with the new semester come new challenges, too. I think I'll benefit from bidding farewell to the fascist dictator, and instead having a more subtle approach. To start, I'll have one-on-one chats with those who obviously excel in order to engage them more in the guidance of their peers. I know this would have helped me stay on task when I was an undergrad, having an underling to encourage. And as for timidity versus boldness, I'll try to find a way to manage to teach to both, while particularly encouraging the latter in all my students.
At times throughout the semester I felt like a fascist dictator, raising my voice to be heard saying "English only!" It was for their own good, I'd convince myself, remembering how when I visited Mexico to study Spanish I'd laugh at the monitors who'd move through the crowds, even at recess, to remind us it was a Spanish-only campus. But now as a teacher I feel responsible for their learning. As a student I only felt I was responsible for what I learned. I never stopped to think how my teachers might have felt in some misguided way responsible for me. I'm the misguided one now, I suppose. Enforcing an English-only policy in a lab might be a good thing, especially since this is the ONLY place many of our students get a chance to practice, but beyond a gentle reminder it's really a futile effort. Those who want to learn will, because they will practice at every opportunity. Those who laugh, like I did, may learn too, but only if they have inner will to do it on their own terms.
I see now, as I occupy the other side of the desk, how the bold ones, those who scoff educational authority knowing they'll get things by themselves, really do a disservice to the community nature of classroom learning. It hurts those not outgoing enough to get the education they need on their own. Sure, it's not their fault since it's not their responsibility, but they could, by sharing their superior skills and confidence, be a great benefit to others in the class who are timid or even fearful of speaking this foreign tongue. And a teacher could really benefit by their greater participation, for sure. But when it comes down to it, this kind of enlightenment is often missed in the selfish stages of youth.
These desks will fill again in a month or so, at the end of August, when vacations are through. I'm looking forward to the new term, and have learned enough over this summer mini session to do an even better job with my new students. But with the new semester come new challenges, too. I think I'll benefit from bidding farewell to the fascist dictator, and instead having a more subtle approach. To start, I'll have one-on-one chats with those who obviously excel in order to engage them more in the guidance of their peers. I know this would have helped me stay on task when I was an undergrad, having an underling to encourage. And as for timidity versus boldness, I'll try to find a way to manage to teach to both, while particularly encouraging the latter in all my students.
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